cheekee.monkee

I woke up early this mornin' around 4am
With the moon shinin' bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keepin' me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothin' left to say, but

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothin' left to weather
In fact I feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out drivin', tryin' to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feelin' just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowin' what we could have been
What we should have been
So

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothin' left to weather
In fact I feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleepin' with your pride
Wishin' I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothin' left to weather
In fact I feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we've got nothin' left to weather
In fact I feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah

And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday

-Keith Urban

merry christmas, mommy

i cannot say the words i want for you to hear
i hope this little poem makes it all so very clear
each time you look my way it's so plain to see
nobody in your world is more important then me
sometimes your heart is sad for all you cannot give
most important to know, it is for me that you live
all i know about love i have learned from you
my biggest fan, my mommy and my hero too
you worry it's only me and you, but that's okay
you're all that i need, you'll see that some day
you are there for me when i'm not well
got the best mommy as far as i can tell
you'll see, one day i'll grow up, by your side
we'll look at each other with so much pride
because everything i am i owe to you
i think you're better off with me too
and so together through life we shall go
i will love you forever, this you should know.

Stand Back Up
- Sugarland

Go ahead and take your best shot,
Let 'er rip, give it all you've got,
I'm laid out on the floor, but I've been here before,
I may stumble, yeah I might fall,
Only human aren't we all?
I might lose my way, but hear me when I say,

I will stand back up,
You'll know just the moment when I've had enough,
Sometimes I'm afraid, and I don't feel that tough,
But I'll stand back up,

I've been beaten up and bruised,
I've been kicked right off my shoes,
Been down on my knees more times than you'd believe,
When the darkness tries to get me,
There's a light that just won't let me,
It might take my pride, and my tears may fill my eyes,
But I'll stand back up,

I've weathered all these storms,
But I just turn them into wind, so I can fly,
What don't kill you makes you stronger,
When I take my last breath,
That's when I'll just give up,

So, go ahead and take your best shot,
Let 'er rip, give it all you've got,
You might win this round but you can't keep me down,

'Cause I'll stand back up,
And you'll know just the moment when I've had enough,
Sometimes I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough,
But I'll stand back up,

You'll know just the moment when I've had enough,
Sometimes I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough,
But I'll stand back up.

the sting of regret
the horror of defeat
an impenetrable
sadness takes hold

wait - step back
clear your head
the big picture
holds the lesson

learn from this
gain strength
establish your
perspective

a definition: the emotion felt when a strongly held expectation of something desired is not met.

a definition: what is considered the most likely to happen. An expectation, which is a belief that is centred on the future, may or may not be realistic. A less advantageous result gives rise to the emotion of disappointment. If something happens that is not at all expected it is a surprise. An expectation about the behavior or performance of another person, expressed to that person, may have the nature of a strong request, or an order.

as the weight of horror smashes me down the depths of sadness do me in. I'm feeling real sorry for myself, which frustrates me. i just want it all to go away. i don't want to BE a survivor of childhood sexual abuse anymore. yeah okay so we all have our crosses to bear but can i carry someone's cross for a bit? mine has become heavy and i feel i cannot carry it any longer.

i'm tired of always reaching out but then hearing the sound of the wind pass by me as i fall - alone. why would it be any other way though? we are all about me.

damn i'm angry today. at nothing in particular. i feel like standing up and screaming. all these fucking expectations thrown at me. fuck expectations, it only leads to dissapointment. maybe it's time i stop living up to all these expectations. maybe it's my turn to stop giving a shit about everyone.

nobody really gives a fuck about anybody else anyway. it doesn't matter what you do for people, it doesn't matter how long you stay like a fucking stupid loyal dog - nothing is appreciated. be a better person? why bother?

I wish you and your family the outmost happiness and health.
I hope for you continued strength and good nature
I give you to all the love and encouragement you need.

For this journey may be long
For life maybe unfair or harsh
For fear and pain lurk evermore

Family will gather round and rejoice
Love will be your eternal strength
Friendship guides you through sorrow

And me, my friend will have happy wishes
And you, my friend will know my loyalty
And he, will rise, stonger then before.

- Mona (11/08/2006)