riding the rut
as the weight of horror smashes me down the depths of sadness do me in. I'm feeling real sorry for myself, which frustrates me. i just want it all to go away. i don't want to BE a survivor of childhood sexual abuse anymore. yeah okay so we all have our crosses to bear but can i carry someone's cross for a bit? mine has become heavy and i feel i cannot carry it any longer.
i'm tired of always reaching out but then hearing the sound of the wind pass by me as i fall - alone. why would it be any other way though? we are all about me.
damn i'm angry today. at nothing in particular. i feel like standing up and screaming. all these fucking expectations thrown at me. fuck expectations, it only leads to dissapointment. maybe it's time i stop living up to all these expectations. maybe it's my turn to stop giving a shit about everyone.
nobody really gives a fuck about anybody else anyway. it doesn't matter what you do for people, it doesn't matter how long you stay like a fucking stupid loyal dog - nothing is appreciated. be a better person? why bother?
i'm tired of always reaching out but then hearing the sound of the wind pass by me as i fall - alone. why would it be any other way though? we are all about me.
damn i'm angry today. at nothing in particular. i feel like standing up and screaming. all these fucking expectations thrown at me. fuck expectations, it only leads to dissapointment. maybe it's time i stop living up to all these expectations. maybe it's my turn to stop giving a shit about everyone.
nobody really gives a fuck about anybody else anyway. it doesn't matter what you do for people, it doesn't matter how long you stay like a fucking stupid loyal dog - nothing is appreciated. be a better person? why bother?
