cheekee.monkee

This ongoing writing campaign will appear often. It is my view of events in my childhood. The monsters are real, imaginary and sometimes they are me. I am not interested in pity or anything of the sort. This is just my way of letting go of my past. A way to rid myself of the monsters that linger inside. if I project the monsters on to the blog - they can no longer plant themselves within my psyche. My inner child is not growing. She is holding me back - her fear is my in action. No I am not blaming everything wrong that I’ve ever done (or even things I should have done but didn't) on outside causes. This is the only way I know how to take responsibility, the only way I know how to 'get over' or release the monsters that have been living in my life for all these years.

This is my way of taking my life back. I don't expect to 'recover' exactly. I just don't want my thinking to be dominated by thoughts rape, incest and molestation. By thoughts of inferiority. By thoughts of shame. Not that it's something that everyone should know but wait why not? Why is it so personal to me? Why do I guard this part of my life so secretly? I’m afraid that people will find out - why? Oh the shame of not being able to control what happens to you. It’s really very life altering.