Rosie O'Donnell - Find Me
I wanted to wait until I had fully digested this novel. Actually I devoured it. I bought the book when it was first released. Yes, I also asked myself why I bought it if it took me this long to be motivated to read it. Problem was I've been infected with televisionitis. I think perhaps this book has ripped me from away from telly or maybe it's the call of spring. I'm not sure why I bought this book or why I decided to read it now but sure am glad I did. Sometimes you read a book at the exact right time in your life - I guess you are ready to accept the message contained within the type.
I truly wished it was fictional character but it was undeniable - I have a quite a bit in common with Rosie O'Donnell. And then I realized I have a lot in common with most survivors of child sexual abuse. So there we have it - my reason (unbeknownst to me at the time) for buying and reading this book. I had no idea, well that's mostly a random lie; I did sort of have an idea that rosie had been abused (it's easy to pick out when you know what to look for) but I thought the book was about her first child. And it was but also about the place in where I find myself at now. No, I'm not rich and/or famous yet! (kidding) but there was a period in my life where I felt so lost and alone - I thought if I surrounded myself with things; books, CD, DVD's, etc.. That someone I'd feel validated and powerful. Guess what?! Yeah that's right, it doesn't work that way. I've even tried surrounding myself with others who mostly turned into inconsequential free-loaders. Not that I'm an easy friend either. I'm a better friend then lover that I know for certain. There were so many traits I could identify with. I ran an online crisis line (both alone and with a couple of comrades) and I found myself becoming more involved then I should. As I believe is obvious by now - I saw myself in this book. It's not always what I want. I don't always want to understand the main character in such a profound way but I needed this book. Is it a good read? That depends on what you're looking for really, more so in this case. rosie can write, I will never deny her that, she is witty and as we all know - kind. All of that comes across in this novel. You also see the other side of rosie, behind-the-set rosie was out. That's how I like my celebrities - straight up! If I wanted water...
I suggest that if you can get your hands on a copy - read it! What I respect in the book (and subsequently in Rosie) is that she didn't go into her own sordid details. Yes, it should be spoken about but when we get to far lost in the horrific abuse - we cannot examine the effects. All abuse is soul-crushing; some atrocities are more severe and last longer. Was Rwanda and less horrific then the recent catastrophic tsunami? Of course not, anyone involved in either of these atrocities has been marred for life. Don't focus on the knife that cut you, acknowledge - accept - heal. Perhaps that sounds a little more simplified then it did in my head. I guess maybe you get to be a certain distance from the abuse (in time only) and realize that dwelling on the fact that it happened is not productive. That's what I got from this book - it's my time to live for me. I am painfully aware the holes exist now I must go about repairing what I can. I have so much life to live and I want to do be kinder to myself. Allow myself to love and trust. It is not just what I want - it's what I need.
I truly wished it was fictional character but it was undeniable - I have a quite a bit in common with Rosie O'Donnell. And then I realized I have a lot in common with most survivors of child sexual abuse. So there we have it - my reason (unbeknownst to me at the time) for buying and reading this book. I had no idea, well that's mostly a random lie; I did sort of have an idea that rosie had been abused (it's easy to pick out when you know what to look for) but I thought the book was about her first child. And it was but also about the place in where I find myself at now. No, I'm not rich and/or famous yet! (kidding) but there was a period in my life where I felt so lost and alone - I thought if I surrounded myself with things; books, CD, DVD's, etc.. That someone I'd feel validated and powerful. Guess what?! Yeah that's right, it doesn't work that way. I've even tried surrounding myself with others who mostly turned into inconsequential free-loaders. Not that I'm an easy friend either. I'm a better friend then lover that I know for certain. There were so many traits I could identify with. I ran an online crisis line (both alone and with a couple of comrades) and I found myself becoming more involved then I should. As I believe is obvious by now - I saw myself in this book. It's not always what I want. I don't always want to understand the main character in such a profound way but I needed this book. Is it a good read? That depends on what you're looking for really, more so in this case. rosie can write, I will never deny her that, she is witty and as we all know - kind. All of that comes across in this novel. You also see the other side of rosie, behind-the-set rosie was out. That's how I like my celebrities - straight up! If I wanted water...
I suggest that if you can get your hands on a copy - read it! What I respect in the book (and subsequently in Rosie) is that she didn't go into her own sordid details. Yes, it should be spoken about but when we get to far lost in the horrific abuse - we cannot examine the effects. All abuse is soul-crushing; some atrocities are more severe and last longer. Was Rwanda and less horrific then the recent catastrophic tsunami? Of course not, anyone involved in either of these atrocities has been marred for life. Don't focus on the knife that cut you, acknowledge - accept - heal. Perhaps that sounds a little more simplified then it did in my head. I guess maybe you get to be a certain distance from the abuse (in time only) and realize that dwelling on the fact that it happened is not productive. That's what I got from this book - it's my time to live for me. I am painfully aware the holes exist now I must go about repairing what I can. I have so much life to live and I want to do be kinder to myself. Allow myself to love and trust. It is not just what I want - it's what I need.
