My Life with Monsters
Today my ugly monsters reared their heads again. They actually stood right the fuck-up and said pay attention to me, bitch. And so I did. While I listened to them and watched their expression of total disgust, I for the first time - saw their weakness. Doubt and mistrust feed the monsters. I feed them with my self-hate. Sure, I didn't put the hate there BUT that no longer matters. Now this is my life, the pain belongs to me. I can embrace it, learn for it or let it drag me back down to the bottom.
Today I am angry. I am not angry at anything specific. It's not dangerous, it's just there. Usually I try to get rid of it straight away, today I'm enjoying it. Allowing it to have it's time in the sunshine.
10 Things I'm Too Afraid Of
10. public speaking
9. letting people down
8. dying slowly
7. small spaces
6. being stupid
5. spending my life alone
4. being taken advantage of
3. not being loved
2. being less then perfect
1. trusting
Today I am angry. I am not angry at anything specific. It's not dangerous, it's just there. Usually I try to get rid of it straight away, today I'm enjoying it. Allowing it to have it's time in the sunshine.
10 Things I'm Too Afraid Of
10. public speaking
9. letting people down
8. dying slowly
7. small spaces
6. being stupid
5. spending my life alone
4. being taken advantage of
3. not being loved
2. being less then perfect
1. trusting
