The First Step
Okay, it seems I'm more addicted to TV then originally I thought. I really miss it. Last night it took me hours to fall asleep. I found myself reaching for the remote, without thinking about it. When I walk into another room where there is a television on - I always look, forgetting that I'm not suppose to. I'm not going to breakdown now though - I've already missed the amazing race. Not that I don't know who came in which order. I admit it - I have a problem. I like the mindlessness of TV these days. I don't like being alone with only the voices yabbering about. So I try to read but that doesn't help either. I should never gotten into the habit of falling asleep to the Telly. Oh, sweet hindsight.
I think I understand why I always have it on - makes me feel like there are people about. Something about someone else's life - this distracts me from my own. Or maybe I'm sick from the withdrawal and all these words are just a hallucination. naw, I can't that addicted! Dahdahnanaah... Or can I?
My last memory of TV - crying myself into convulsions out of joy and sadness. Damn, extreme home make-over, gets me every time, it does. You know what makes me cry? Seeing pure joy in people who had given up hope of such a feeling. Of seeing, feeling true gratitude. These things make me cry even if it's just a commercial.
Lucky for me, I have plans for most of the rest of this week. That is one of the reasons why I decided to do this crazy thing after all. To reconnect myself to the world outside of TV Land. I've also put in overtime at work. Have actually called friends, answered the phone the first time they called or at least called back in the same week if I happened to miss the call. I do notice without my mediabox I'm more interested in talking to people. I need to be entertained, gosh darn it! Here I am now, entertain me (kurt cobain). I am/was a fan of Nirvana - great shit. Sometimes I like my music deep, real deep - other times I just need a drum beat. I love to dance. I don't mean bootyshake, I mean take over the dance floor, kind of dancing. Summer's coming and I'm in love with soca. I'm taken with the energy of it. It is the only music that makes me want to jump up and down. Soca music can't refuse it...(destra - a hold on me)
I think I understand why I always have it on - makes me feel like there are people about. Something about someone else's life - this distracts me from my own. Or maybe I'm sick from the withdrawal and all these words are just a hallucination. naw, I can't that addicted! Dahdahnanaah... Or can I?
My last memory of TV - crying myself into convulsions out of joy and sadness. Damn, extreme home make-over, gets me every time, it does. You know what makes me cry? Seeing pure joy in people who had given up hope of such a feeling. Of seeing, feeling true gratitude. These things make me cry even if it's just a commercial.
Lucky for me, I have plans for most of the rest of this week. That is one of the reasons why I decided to do this crazy thing after all. To reconnect myself to the world outside of TV Land. I've also put in overtime at work. Have actually called friends, answered the phone the first time they called or at least called back in the same week if I happened to miss the call. I do notice without my mediabox I'm more interested in talking to people. I need to be entertained, gosh darn it! Here I am now, entertain me (kurt cobain). I am/was a fan of Nirvana - great shit. Sometimes I like my music deep, real deep - other times I just need a drum beat. I love to dance. I don't mean bootyshake, I mean take over the dance floor, kind of dancing. Summer's coming and I'm in love with soca. I'm taken with the energy of it. It is the only music that makes me want to jump up and down. Soca music can't refuse it...(destra - a hold on me)
